Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Remember when I said I didn't want to smell like Erykah Badu? Well, apparently I spoke too soon.

I am in love with Tom Ford White Patchouli. Now, I already hear your questions, and I will address them immediately.

Q-Doesn't Tom Ford make perfume that smells like a man's nether-regions?
A- Tom Ford only makes one perfume that smells like balls and this is not it. So there. He also has a fragrance that supposedly smells like cocaine. Tom Ford is a weird dude. In order to find the link used above I had to google "tom ford balls." It turned up 535,000 hits.

Before I committed to buying this perfume, I was talking to Keehnan about my concerns. "Tom Ford is tricky," I said. "What if it secretly smells like vagina?"

"Don't worry," he replied. "Tom Ford does not know what a vagina smells like."

He's probably right.

Q- Patchouli??? Really??
A- I know. I know. But, you guys, it only smells a little like patchouli. It's not gross, I promise.

Q- So, what does it smell like, then?
A- When I was buying it, I got into a conversation with the perfume lady at Nordstrom about why most perfumes start out smelling great on me, but by the end of the day I smell super-sweet. Like a walking Pixi Stick. It's gross. The lady said it's just a matter of personal chemistry. So as much as I might love a scent it may simply be incompatible with my body, and there's nothing I can do about it. White Patchouli, on the other hand, gets more spicy and woodsy as it combines with my chemistry. I had a coworker sniff me about it yesterday and she said I smelled like a sexy man. She's right, but that assessment is incomplete. I don't just smell like any old Sexy Man. I smell like Don Draper.

And it is awesome.


Dale Kemp said...

I just sort of stumbled onto this blog.

I hope you really were trying to be funny because I had a hard time trying to type while laughing so hard.

Good post.


amberjoyce said...

you are mad men.


mad men if they listened to the wu-tang clan.

Anonymous said...

No, I smell like Don Draper. I've worn nothing but Burberry London for Men for two years now. It is the ultimate woodsy spicy fragrance. Check your references!

Chelsea said...

y'know, we can both smell like Don Draper at the same time. it's not a cabinet position.