Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Zenergize- Liveblog!!

Last weekend I found Zenergize at Whole Foods! (for back-story, go read this.) Shit is expensive, y'all. It was like, 9 bucks for a tube of ten tablets! But I had to find out if it was awesome. I'm curious like a cat. That's why my friends call me Whiskers.

So, in order to fully document the Zenergize experience, I will liveblog all the action startiiiiiing... now!

9:21am- I have opened the Zenergize tube and removed one tablet. I smell the tablet. It smells like peaches. Hopefully it doesn't have too much actual peach in it, as I am allergic to raw fruit. But now that I think about it, there is no way to get a raw peach into a tablet.
9:23am- I have just dropped the tablet into a glass of water. It is fizzing, as was expected. While it dissolves, I will pay attention to the Paula Abdul album I am listening to this morning. Did you know that Paula Abdul is hella Jewish? I just learned that this morning. I read her Wikipedia article.
9:25am- The tablet is almost done dissolving. Are you excited? I am.
- Still dissolving. What's that adage about the watched tablet?
9:27am- I just read the tube, and it suggests breaking the little fucker in half so it dissolves faster. I wish I'd done that because I am starting to get bored. Paula Abdul's Spellbound is just not as good right now as it was when I was 9. Remember the Rush, Rush video, where she got all Rebel Without a Cause with Keanu Reeves? Speaking of Keanu Reeves, I heard he's dating Parker Posey. that's weird, right?
9:31am- It's finally done dissolving!! that took eight fucking minutes! Okay, I'm gonna take a sip...
9:32am- OH MY GOD IT IS DELICIOUS. more sipping.
9:33am- P. Abdul album has definitely taken a turn for the worse. It's gone all Paul Simon Graceland imperialist African romanticizing bullshit. more sipping.
9:37am- Album almost over. I have decided to listen to The Stooges, but I can't decide which album.
9:38am-I have decided to go with Raw Power.
9:39am- Oh, man, that was a good decision.
9:40am- Zenergize remains delicious and is almost gone.
9:41am- Gone. That was fun. Did I mention that it had caffeine in it? It doesn't say how much, though. I really think beverages should tell you how much caffeine is in them so you can plan accordingly.

Well, that was fun. I'm gonna go eat something delicious. Have a fun day, dudes!


- I. FEEL. AWESOME. The caffeine has kicked in and I think it is kind of a lot dudes.
10:08am- I just got up on my bed and danced like the kid in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. but with less jumping up and down because I have a futon.
10:25- Okay, I am starting to feel a little crazy....CRAZY AWESOME!!!!
10:51- I seem to have leveled out, and feel like a normal human being again.


24KGLDFCE said...

Choice usage of early Will Ferral gold.

24KGLDFCE said...

one would think you would liveblog the caffeinated experience and it's affect on your day and body - not the initial dissolving and consumption. this demands additional posts..

24KGLDFCE said...

effect! effect!

Chelsea said...

okay! I'll add more, but how will i know what is caused by the Zenergize as opposed to the pot of coffee a drink right before it?

Anonymous said...

Keep up the important work, Chelsea.

Chelsea said...

it's not easy work, but i do it because i care.

rachel said...

who calls you whiskers? cause i'm gonna start.