Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Last weekend I found Zenergize at Whole Foods! (for back-story, go read this.) Shit is expensive, y'all. It was like, 9 bucks for a tube of ten tablets! But I had to find out if it was awesome. I'm curious like a cat. That's why my friends call me Whiskers.
So, in order to fully document the Zenergize experience, I will liveblog all the action startiiiiiing... now!
9:21am- I have opened the Zenergize tube and removed one tablet. I smell the tablet. It smells like peaches. Hopefully it doesn't have too much actual peach in it, as I am allergic to raw fruit. But now that I think about it, there is no way to get a raw peach into a tablet.
9:23am- I have just dropped the tablet into a glass of water. It is fizzing, as was expected. While it dissolves, I will pay attention to the Paula Abdul album I am listening to this morning. Did you know that Paula Abdul is hella Jewish? I just learned that this morning. I read her Wikipedia article.
9:25am- The tablet is almost done dissolving. Are you excited? I am.
9:26am- Still dissolving. What's that adage about the watched tablet?
9:27am- I just read the tube, and it suggests breaking the little fucker in half so it dissolves faster. I wish I'd done that because I am starting to get bored. Paula Abdul's Spellbound is just not as good right now as it was when I was 9. Remember the Rush, Rush video, where she got all Rebel Without a Cause with Keanu Reeves? Speaking of Keanu Reeves, I heard he's dating Parker Posey. that's weird, right?
9:31am- It's finally done dissolving!! that took eight fucking minutes! Okay, I'm gonna take a sip...
9:32am- OH MY GOD IT IS DELICIOUS. more sipping.
9:33am- P. Abdul album has definitely taken a turn for the worse. It's gone all Paul Simon Graceland imperialist African romanticizing bullshit. more sipping.
9:37am- Album almost over. I have decided to listen to The Stooges, but I can't decide which album.
9:38am-I have decided to go with Raw Power.
9:39am- Oh, man, that was a good decision.
9:40am- Zenergize remains delicious and is almost gone.
9:41am- Gone. That was fun. Did I mention that it had caffeine in it? It doesn't say how much, though. I really think beverages should tell you how much caffeine is in them so you can plan accordingly.
Well, that was fun. I'm gonna go eat something delicious. Have a fun day, dudes!
10:06am- I. FEEL. AWESOME. The caffeine has kicked in and I think it is kind of a lot dudes.
10:08am- I just got up on my bed and danced like the kid in Hedwig and the Angry Inch. but with less jumping up and down because I have a futon.
10:25- Okay, I am starting to feel a little crazy....CRAZY AWESOME!!!!
10:51- I seem to have leveled out, and feel like a normal human being again.