Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Tweezerman Tweezers

I have been battling my eyebrows for 13 years. Don't get me wrong, we've had some good times (remember that time i was sweating and you kept it out of my eyes? thanks, guys.), but for the most part we've been at odds. Basically, I want them to be sleek, lovely, face-defining arches with hairs that all point in one direction. They, left to their own devices, would more closely resemble an army of deserters, all fleeing in different directions toward the safety of the forest, i.e. my hairline.

My mom, a former beautician, started waxing my eyebrows when I was twelve. Before you start crying child abuse, you should know that puberty hit me pretty early and that by the time I entered middle school I was already beginning to look like Andy Rooney. Weekly waxing sessions went on until I graduated, moved out, and was left to my own devices. Enter the tweezers.

At the height of my plucking madness, I was spending 90 minutes a week with tweezers in hand. Seriously. I did the math. In retrospect, I'm pretty sure that at least half of that was spent trying unsuccessfully to grip uncooperative hairs with my sad, dull Revlon tweezers. I was so naive. Then I saw this picture:

We're gonna skip the whole Ohmygod Gwen Stefani thing because, duh. Just look at their fucking Eyebrows. After staring at the above photo for about 8 minutes, I decided to take action. I knew there had to be a better way. Granted, Miss Gwen has a lot of resources I don't, but dadgummit, I do have a lot of time. And access to Sephora, which turned out to be all I actually needed, because for $20 they will sell you (big trumpet flourish!) Tweezerman Tweezers!!!

Seriously, you guys, they're amazing. I have the pointed ones as my problem is more strays than volume, and they ruthlessly hunt down all deserters and court marshall the shit out of them (you like how I brought it back around, there?). Also!!! They come in pink and like, zebra print. And!! They're guaranteed for life and the Tweezerman people will sharpen them for you or replace them if the tips break off. So Rad!!


RCH said...

Really?? I just bought a new set of angled yankers for somewhere around 8 dollars... but the sheer variety in price and manner of tweezers gave me pause to remember the promise of this particular brand.

Chelsea said...

do i sound like i'm joking?

actually, don't answer that.