A Tale of Two Tootsies (my feet)

For me, getting dressed is mainly about figuring out how comfortable I can be without looking like a total fucking schlub. Left to my own devices, I would never get out of my American Apparel yoga pants and whatever t-shirt is closest to my bed. I probably wouldn't even wear shoes. To be totally honest, the conversation I have with myself usually goes something like this:
"Okay, what are we doing today?" (Yeah, my internal conversations are actual conversations. And I refer to myself as "we".)
"Umm, we have to go to the grocery store, like now. We're out of coffee."
"What?! I thought we agreed that was never ever going to happen again!"
"Well, it happened. So put some pants on."
"Okay." Reaches for yoga pants.
"Actual pants, Chelsea. With a zipper and everything."
"Are you kidding me?! For the grocery store?"
"There are people at the grocery store. People with eyes."
"Ugh. Fine. But we're not showering."
"Who exactly are we punishing, here?"

Luckily, I am fully aware that sometimes my cosiness needs to be sacrificed for the greater visual good. But sometimes it's not a sacrifice at all! Sometimes things are super cute and insanely comfortable at the same time. Like my Vans:



I have the polka dot ones in black and white, but they also come in white, black, the classic Vans checkerboard, and just in time for Valentine's Day, these beauties:



I'm not normally a big hearts-on-shit person, but seriously, how cute is that? And, in further appeal to my needs, they're machine washable which is vital when you're as messy and clumsy as I am. Because if I don't somehow manage to spill condiments all over my shoes, then I will probably trip over something and get them all covered in mud. Or both. Which I did. Recently.
Now I just have the yoga pants thing to deal with. I think I just need to accept that while they have the word pants in their title, they are still basically just leggings. Which are not pants. God, I hope Lindsay Lohan is reading this.